The Power of Thought in Challenging Moments
"Life will undoubtedly offer us challenges. It is in how we approach those encounters that show our character and define our futures." – Stephanie @ Finding Point + Wellbeing
The Complexity of Emotions
Emotions are incredibly important. They offer us insights into out psyche, and into our deeper needs. They show us our greatest loves and often places where we still carry wounds. Recurring thoughts and events arise to allow us to identify what they are trying to imbue upon us, and to approach these feelings in a healthful manner. Emotions share with us both good feelings and bad. Ultimately, how we process through the less enjoyable aspects determine if we get “caught up” in drama that may enter our lives, or flow through in a productive manner.
As with anyone, life has thrown me it’s fair share of questionable moments. Times where I thought, “Wow, really world?" Some scenarios only required a slight readjustment in how I needed to view or go about things. Other obstacles nearly dropped me in my tracks. What I have been learning on a deeper level is to observe what is being put forth into my life without allowing negativity or feelings of helplessness to overpower. I’ve been paying mind to what my internal responses are trying to show me about myself. I’ve also been better learning to be a witness without judgment to my own mind.
Helpful VS. Unhelpful Thought Processes
An example showing differing responses might be that a person is a victim of a crime. The victim may get angry or mad at the person who violated them. A person with poor behavior placed their own issues upon another and you are having to pay the consequences of their actions. Is it fair, no. Unfortunately, life often isn’t. However, the feelings we allow to permeate after such an event are within us and ultimately a person’s choice to attach to.
Do We Choose Fear or Mindfulness?
If we feel victimized, we may go into a state of unease. We may start “looking out” or become hypervigilant in concern that we might be a victim again. For some, the event may cause feelings of panic… “Will the burglar come back?” “What if I am home this time”? “How could they”? “Why me”? Feelings of fear can create unnecessary angst in our minds. If you have a history with anxiety or similar, it can be easy for these thoughts to build and become unhealthy.
Another approach to the same scenario may be to direct your thoughts towards mindful empowerment. Did someone burglarize you? Yes. Can you do something about it to help yourself feel more secure? Absolutely. Perhaps you recognize that although an event may have detriment to you, you hold the power through how you act in response. An alternate to the disempowerment is to create change in the scenario. Although not ideal, perhaps you have cameras or better locks installed. Maybe you decide to get that dog you have been thinking about as an additional deterrent. Or the event even pushes you towards goals that include a higher income and safer neighborhood.
Conceivably, sometimes bad things just happen. Our power is in how we choose to integrate what the situation has offered. In this scenario, being robbed was not okay, yet in choosing our response to the negative stimulus, we hold the power to allow it to control us or propel us forward.
Creating a Healthier Future
There are many places in life where how we respond will determine the next moments, days, or years. Sometimes our thoughts can bring us into dark cycles where we have to do the work to re-center ourselves into a better place. Others, where we are more cognizant, may create a level of struggle, but one that allows us the attention to learn how we can better approach a situation. This can be anywhere with near any aspect of life.
It can take time to learn healthier ways to look at painful encounters. Life often requires personal experience before a person understands how they might respond to a given event. Learning about ways in which you can respond more healthfully or ways in which coping mechanisms may be to your advantage or disadvantage plays a role. Trusting yourself to manage even the most challenging of times with an eye on your best future is also a key in self-liberation.
Helpful Resources:
Thinking Styles and Healthier Problem Solving (via CA.gov)
Healthful Emotional Expression (via Positive Psychology)
Free Worksheets and Self-Help:
Fight or Flight Response, DBT, Wise Mind, DBT, REBT, etc. (via Therapist Aid)
Cognitive Emotional Processing (via Mindful CoTherapy)
I hope that you found this article helpful, that perhaps it can benefit your life as you figure out what best works for you. The links above offer additional insights in managing emotions as they arise. I've also included links to several free worksheets that offer practice of healthful ideologies.
I wish you love, wellness, and internal peace,
Stephanie @ Finding Point
